It's been awhile, and never have I expected that my first post back after almost 4 months to be of such a depressive nature, but I guess things just have a way of its own.
You can say, that my mental state has been quite affected as of late what with things going on, and just some old stuff being brought to light. I probably did mention this somewhere before, and it's true, that I've never been the most well-liked person around. But I thought with time, and certain friends who have stuck around despite my quirks and blunt personality, I have grew out of that overly sensitive and emotional me. Yet it seems, I probably am not as strong as I would like myself to believe. This new found information, as shared to me from someone who I knew from back then, left me much much more affected than I thought. Although to be honest, this was just a part of the reason why, because thankfully I have friends around me to pull me out from that.
What probably affected me more, was coming across a post from someone who I had once thought of to be a really good friend, although I can't say I think of that someone as that anymore. The things that happened, its irreversible, and nothing could possibly change the fact that I've been hurt one too many times. And its true, you may mend a broken mirror, but the cracks will forever remain. Whats more, despite the chances I gave, and the efforts I put forth, no apology ever came, and thats what hurts the most. That you don't see the need to apologise, or that you probably don't even now what you did wrong.
And if all these wasn't enough, I've probably never had more on my mind than now. I've been plagued with so much feelings and emotions, and just can't seem to figure things out. It honestly would be so great, if I could just know what was going on, and not be left waiting, wondering and feeling so torn up over things right now. Hopefully though, things would settle down soon, and that I can find some peace within myself, and just put the past behind me. Because whoever said time heals all wounds was lying.
*on a side note though, I promise to be back with an update on my trip to taiwan last month soonest!
