Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Does time really heals all wounds?

As the saying goes time will heal all wounds. But does it really now.
I don't really think so though.
I honestly thought I had put down this issue already, and left it behind me, someplace I can look back and say, yes, this shit may have happened, but I toughed it out, and came out standing. But I guess deep down, the hurt I gotten never really did eased away...
But rather, It's more that I just managed to lock it up and not let it bother me.
That worked, but it isn't enough...
Although I can coolly talk about this matter to my friends, and just act as if I'm over it, at the end of the day, it just isn't so. I'm still hurting from the matter, and the hole is still going to be there years down the road.
What is this matter, you may wonder... Well, sometime last year during my internship, some things went south with someone whom I considered to be my best friend in poly, and this is in spite of all the other issues we've, or rather, said friend has put me through. But this really was the last straw. So badly affected I was, you can only just imagine the pain. (If you have any interest, I believe I did blog about this back over on my wordpress when it happened, though I can't be too sure right now if that post is locked or not...)
Anyway, the thing that proved me wrong, that I actually am still harbouring much hurt over this issue was that I actually saw a teacher a few weeks back while I was working at the Natas travel fair, and she casually brought up the issue about this 'friend'. And not having spoke to this person for a while, and still having the unresolved issue between us, I guess all the feeling just came back up, and I just couldn't help but to feel rather used/委屈 about the whole situation and all...
Really just hope that one day, I'd be able to walk out of the shadow casted upon me, and be able to trust someone for who they are and not have to put up this wall around myself to protect myself from my own naivety anymore. Really really hate how I always so easily buy into people's lies and give them all my trust, rather than see things for what it really is/people for who they really are.

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