Friday, 24 May 2013

From Deep Within

So, mummy has full access to my facebook and all since she uses my account to play games to help herself, and she does see what goes on my timeline from time to time, and yesterday night she asked me after having seen all the grad pictures and postings... "Do you regret not going for your graduation ceremony?"
Truth be told, yes. There is that twinge of regret for not going, not being able to make the most out of this last day and to leave the school gloriously with all my friends and course mates.
Doesn't matter that I did not come out of this course with many that I can hold true to my heart because as the saying goes, a handful of friends who can touch your heart is better than an entourage of "friends".
I would still have liked to take photos and store them up as memories for me to recollect in the future.
But, I guess protecting my heart still is more important to me.
I just couldn't bring myself to go and face a certain someone who I know I would end up letting my guard down to. Honestly been hurt one to many times by said someone, and I guess enough is enough.
Sometimes, I hate how naïve and soft-hearted I can get, but I guess it's just my nature. What can I do.
Time after time, I give in and let you trample all over me with your lies, and believing that you would change, but honestly after the fourth time it happened, I can't let it go on again. And despite telling myself so, I am still unable to harden my heart to you.
And so avoidance is the only way to go. I have no other choice.
To be honest, I really treated you as someone I could rely on, someone I could trust and keep as a friend for a long time to come. I however, was proven wrong one time too many.
I just hope that you would finally see the light soon, and come to realise how many people you have hurt/are hurting by your actions and behaviour, and can become a better person.
On a side note:
To JY, you were the first girl in the entire of LRM with which I forged a close relationship and friendship with! And I am really grateful to have you with me through the 2 years after. Even though we were only in the same class for a mere semester in TAS. That we managed to keep this friendship going really means a lot to me! LOVE YOU BBY!
& Can't wait to see you on Tuesday for our cycling excursion^^
To WenLi, whom I've only gotten to know closely in my final sem in TP, it was amazing how we've managed to clique with one another so fast. We went through the final lap together, rushing through deadlines and shit. And wonderfully, we've never once argued, and for this, I am extremely thankful!
The fact that you are going back to China in a months time really upsets me, and I look forward to the day you come back with all my heart. But for now, let's just make the most of what we have OK!
See you on Wednesday b!
To my BBG, Joey, we've let so much precious time in which we could have gotten closer gone to waste, but it's ok, because we still have a lifetime ahead of us! You may be going through some tough time now, but it's all temporary, because we know there's always a rainbow after a storm, and brighter days lies ahead! Stay strong my babygirl, and know that I'll always be here for you!

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