is it meant to be?

Honestly thought I have improved, and am stronger, and more capable of managing my emotions now. But it turns out, as shown through last night's episode, that I am indeed still lacking a lot in this department. It's not that I don't have the means to solve problems thrown at me. I know I can, but I tend to let my stress levels eat me up, and my emotions to run me down. The bottom line, is actually that I think too much. About things that I honestly should not let affect me.

I guess, one thing I need to overcome the most is the monster in my brain. That monster that keeps me thinking thoughts that are wholly unnecessary, that makes me upset when I don't even need to be, because I could just as well view any issue in an entirely opposite light, but I choose to think of the worse case scenario. Which, probably might not even be what is happening in fact.

However though, last night has led me to think, if this is really the path I should take in the future. As much as I do enjoy it, I tend to be afraid, and swallow myself up. And like I did say, my emotions are always running amok, which may not be the best for me. I suppose, I do need to revaluate myself, and what I want for myself in life. Be it personally, as an individual, or even just for the general future ahead of me.

One thing I know for certain, is that I need to stop being so soft, and be firm with my words and actions. To be more confident, and sure of myself. There's a lot I can change, and a lot I need to work on, but baby steps. Knowing what my main issues are at least, would allow me to make baby steps I need to improve myself.